This mindset wears us down and disrupts relationships. To feel empowered in the present we must come to terms with past traumas

How we shape our identity plays a vital role in determining our wellbeing. This shaping, often unconscious, can propel our personal growth but also sometimes limit it in unintended ways.

As societal awareness grows about the traumatic impact of issues such as racism, domestic violence, prejudice, discrimination and poverty, there has been an increasing focus on trauma-informed therapy. This approach recognises trauma’s influence on wellbeing and shifts away from historically blaming victims for their circumstances.

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It can be painful to discover people are not who we want them to be. But once this is grasped, we can form much more meaningful bonds

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My friend’s small daughter was in a state of utter devastation. She desperately wanted to take her toy car into the bath with her. But – and this is key – she equally desperately did not want her toy car to get wet. There was no way to get what she wanted and she was forced to accept the unflinching reality: water is not dry. It hurt, and she wailed.

I can relate. There have been times, mostly when realising that my husband will not do or say or feel the thing that I want him to do or say or feel, when I have wanted to wail, just like that little girl. I have had to acknowledge – again and again – that he is who he is and not who I want him to be.

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Exclusive: Katie Sidle warns of more avoidable deaths without major changes after inquest found missed chances to save sibling

A consultant neurologist whose brother died after a series of failures by an NHS mental health trust has warned there will be more avoidable deaths without fundamental reform of psychiatric care.

Dr Katie Sidle’s concerns about the refusal of Norfolk and Suffolk foundation trust (NSFT) to give her brother Christopher, who was psychotic, a crisis admission were repeatedly ignored in the days and weeks before his death last July, a coroner found this month.

In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie . In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org , or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org .

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The clinic at the heart of a heated national debate formally closes this weekend. The journalist who told the inside story of its practice reflects on those it leaves behind

It was a report in this newspaper that sparked my real interest in Gids – that made me ask “what’s going on?”. It was November 2018 and the article, by Jamie Doward, revealed that the Gender Identity Development Service, to use its full title, was undertaking a review. The details were scarce, but a senior member of staff had claimed that the service was “failing to examine fully the psychological and social reasons behind young people’s desire to change gender”.

In the week that Gids’s 35-year history has finally ended , I’ve been thinking about that time. How it set the scene of what would unfold over the next few years, and how things could have been so different. What if NHS England had acted when it saw a report of those concerns? It didn’t, and the service remained open for another six years. A service which referred children for puberty-blocking drugs, without robust data to support that this was beneficial, and that shut down the concerns of a growing number of its own staff.

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Tom Power led an alliance that brought about the pioneering health initiative which has since been adopted by more than 70 countries – and has saved countless lives

Exactly 20 years ago an Irish civil servant named Tom Power won a remarkable battle against the tobacco industry when Ireland enacted the world’s first ban on smoking in bars, restaurants and workplaces.

TV crews from Japan, the US and elsewhere flocked to Dublin to record the events of 29 March 2004. No one knew what would happen. Would smokers revolt? Would pubs flout the law? Would a bold experiment go up in smoke?

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Swedish researchers say inflammation caused by obesity is likely to increase risk of developing conditions such as MS

Children who are obese may face more than double the risk of developing multiple sclerosis as adults, a study suggests.

MS can affect the brain and spinal cord, causing a range of potential symptoms including problems with vision, arm or leg movement, sensation or balance. It is a lifelong condition that can sometimes cause serious disability.

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Australia’s first unit dedicated to human challenge trials for novel vaccines and treatments has opened. But what are the ethics of infecting healthy people – and who would do it?

Green plants, cool tones, casually placed scatter cushions: this living room in East Melbourne could belong to – or at least, be rented by – any millennial. The squeaky corridor floors are a giveaway, though; along with the beds on wheels.

This isn’t a real estate opportunity, but Doherty Clinical Trials (DCT) – Australia’s first unit dedicated to human challenge studies, where trial participants are given a dose of an infectious disease in a controlled setting. An offshoot of the Peter Doherty Institute for Infection and Immunity at the University of Melbourne, it opens on Monday – a breeding ground, its proprietors hope, for discoveries that may redefine the future of disease.

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Readers respond to an article by the Guardian’s parliamentary sketch writer about his heart attack, and share similar stories of their own

Thank you to John Crace for this article ( ‘Is this how I die?’ John Crace on his terrifying heart attack, 21 March ). It has allowed me to start the process of accepting that although my two heart attacks on Christmas Day 2022 were mild and sorted by some stents, they were still serious. Surrounded by men on my ward who were recovering from, or waiting for, various heart bypass procedures, I felt almost like a fraud – after all, a stent is at the lower end of the scale, or so I convinced myself.

I have laughed off the concern of loved ones and friends, and dined out on a good story that involved me thinking I had a bad chest infection on the day, accounting for my chest pains and breathlessness and symptoms that in general did not conform to my view of what a heart attack should be like.

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Willy Gilder thinks the Alzheimer’s Society latest ad campaign is a mistake and would like to see it withdrawn

The chief executive of the Alzheimer’s Society has sought to justify its new ad campaign, The Long Goodbye , by saying that it “tells the unvarnished truth about the devastation caused by dementia”. It isn’t a truth that I, as a person with Alzheimer’s disease, recognise. The ad shows a family mourning their mum, and saying that she died several times in advance of her actual death as she realised that she could no longer cook a family meal, or take part in social activities.

This idea of dementia being a “living death” reinforces the most negative stereotypes of my condition, and contravenes guidance for journalists drawn up by the society itself six years ago. I share a dementia diagnosis with the star of Die Hard, Bruce Willis. I prefer to try to Live Well, or as well as I am able. It dismays me that the country’s leading dementia charity seems to want to reinforce the stigma surrounding brain disease.

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